hide me away... archives - weight Thursday, May 30, 2002   i went to doctor.... O__________________O;;; yesterday. this morning i had a blood test O_O;;; and yesterday i was prescribed prozac + the pill *collapses* i took my first prozac this morning...after the blood test..... posted by osseous keloid 4:30:45 PM Tuesday, May 28, 2002   just had two glasses of water. feel a little better. cold now. :P even tho i am sitting in my central heated room...with the heating on the highest, in woolen sweater~~ i shouldn't be cold ;_; okaasan said its like a sauna in here!!! O_O;;; how come it doesnt feel that way to me? i'm going to dinner tonite. wasn't supposed last nite...but its winter...and *sigh* i guess i should eat a meal a day...altho...eating dinner is not a good idea. hopefully tonite i will eat a lot less than i did last nite!!! >__<~~ i should stop spending so much time online ............................................................ posted by osseous keloid 1:56:08 PM   stomach ache. well i could feel my stomach muscles begging me for food. not going to the dr. today. *sigh* going tomolo. i hope he doesn't want to examine my stomach O_O;;;;; no way will i let that happen. man~~ i can just see it turning into a great commotion if he saw the scars on my stomach!!! >_<~~ kinda feels like stomach cramps...maybe if i drink more water will go away? i dont understand why today of all days? maybe coz its been a week since i last starved my self and my body isn't used to it? *shrug* maybe~~ its kinda like little twinges inside my stomach...dunno why...dunno wat is is...but annoying. more water!!!!!!!!!! posted by osseous keloid 1:51:35 PM Monday, May 27, 2002   the worst thing is...even if i want to eat normally. i can't. its impossible. if i eat a litte in a day i put on weight...how depressing is that? and i cant stand my weight going up. not at all. so all i can eat is one meal a day maximum........ and a small meal at that. i can never give in to any cravings. i can never eat sweets or sweet foods. unless i get my metabolic rate fixed. and so i'm stuck. trapped. even if sometimes i dont want to be this way. i dont have any choice. not anymore. posted by osseous keloid 6:49:59 PM   my throat is burning. i've just tried to throw up. managed to a very little very very little bit. *sigh* i will try again in a little while. refuse to give up. posted by osseous keloid 3:44:05 PM   i neeed to peeeeeeeee....i should go home and weigh myself. but but but -__________-;;; mum is home. and she knows i have class until 5pm. shit. fuck. oh well. i will just not weigh myself for the next three days until she goes back to work. i wonder if the pill makes u put on weight? O_O;; if it does...i'm not going anywhere near it!!! posted by osseous keloid 3:23:03 PM   "i see a red door i want to paint it black...." "i look inside myself and see my heart is black" posted by osseous keloid 3:17:51 PM   too pretty isn't it? well...................................................................... i can't be fucked to change it. *shrug* posted by osseous keloid 3:15:48 PM   *sigh* wat the hell? i've made a new journal. but this time. only i...and i mean that...only i will know about it. because i was getting to conscious about who was reading the other two. posted by osseous keloid 3:10:59 PM